Oftentimes when we hear about the “domestic church,” it is in the context of a family with children. It was only recently that I learned that the domestic church can also include any sacramentally married couple, since once married, the couple becomes their own family. Learning this made me feel like my marriage also has a place in the Church, even if our domestic church is limited to our humble, though very sweet, family of two.

Our domestic church is more of a domestic monastery with my husband and I living a rather cloistered lifestyle due to chronic illness. We are not raising a family like our married peers, nor are we able to participate in parish life and extend hospitality in a traditional manner like our unmarried friends or other couples without children. This has often led me to doubt our place in the Church – especially when we face criticism of our situation and our childless vocation. Yet, I know that our vocation has great value and can reap many graces when we continue to be obedient to God, so I trust that our domestic church can still bear great fruit even from the cloister of our home.

Cloistered monks and nuns bear great fruit for the Church and the salvation of souls through their devoted prayer life. Their vocation is just as important to the Church as their non-cloistered counterparts. Though I definitely do not pray nearly at the same level as a nun living in a cloistered community, I like to think that our vocations share similarities in that my husband and I live primarily in isolation from the outside world, only able to serve the Church through our prayers. We continually strive to live out the virtues of poverty (to some extent), chastity, and obedience in our Josephite marriage. Though we do not have children and our domestic church looks vastly different from that of others, we trust that our marriage and our “domestic cloister” will still yield grace for our own sanctification and for the good of the Church – if we pray in obedience to God. I remember hearing a priest say that no specific vocation is greater than another if one is obediently turned toward God and is doing what God is asking of them. A marriage with children is not greater nor more important to the Church than a marriage without children, and vice-versa. I always wonder why God called my husband and I into such circumstances within our vocation, and I may never know why this side of Heaven; however, I can only pray that my heart stays open to God’s Will and to the ways He may be calling us to deeper sanctification through our sufferings. 

Our nurturing and encouraging of each other as spouses also contributes to the building and nurturing of our domestic church. The purpose of marriage is to lead one’s self and spouse to Heaven. By praying for and with one another, encouraging each other in the Faith, and bolstering each other’s weaknesses through God’s grace, we are fulfilling our vocation of striving to lead each other to Heaven.

I invite all married couples, with or without children, to reflect on the abundant grace within your vocation. If your family is unable to welcome children into it either now or at any point, I still invite you to reflect on how grace-filled your vocation is even in the absence of children, and to recognize how you can continue to build and nurture your domestic church through prayer and selfless service toward your spouse. God is merciful with His grace and your family of two is priceless in the eyes of God and immensely valuable to the Church.

A. M. is a 20-something in her fourth year of marriage. She and her husband have been faithfully embracing their call to a Josephite marriage since their wedding day. She loves spending time with her husband, reading, writing, crafting, and advocating for those with chronic illness and rare diseases.