Advent returns each year with its quiet invitation to wait. For those of us who carry the cross of infertility, waiting is already woven into the fabric of our lives—waiting for answers, for clarity, for healing, for the next step, or simply the grace to keep going. This time of year, when the world seems wrapped in images of growing families and childhood wonder, can stir up a mixture of longing and love, joy and sorrow. It can be a tender season.

And yet, Advent speaks right into this place. It reminds us that God comes not only to those who feel ready or fulfilled, but to those who are still longing. He enters the places that feel unfinished. He draws near to the waiting heart.

If your Advent feels heavy or uncertain this year, know that you are not alone. The Church, in her wisdom, has built an entire season around longing—a season that acknowledges darkness, honors desire, and still insists on hope. Waiting is not something to merely “get through”; it is a sacred space where God is already at work.

Below is a simple guide through the four weeks of Advent. These Scripture verses, reflections, and prayers are offered as companions along the way. Take what you need, leave what you don’t. Let this season be one in which you allow God to meet you gently in the waiting.

Week 1: Hope

“They that hope in the LORD will renew their strength, they will soar on eagles’ wings; They will run and not grow weary, walk and not grow faint.”  (Isaiah 40:31)

Advent begins in darkness with one small flame of hope. For those living with infertility, hope can feel complicated. We may long to hope, but also feel wary and worn out by disappointment, or unsure how to hold hope without bracing for heartache. But hope doesn’t demand that we pretend; it simply asks us to look towards God, Who is faithful even when the path is unclear. Hope is not the absence of pain; it’s the presence of God within it. Hope can begin with nothing more than a quiet turning toward Him.

Weekly Reflections:
What promise of God feels hardest to trust right now?
How can you bring that before Him honestly?

Weekly Prayer: Lord, kindle hope in me this week; not a forced or fragile hope but the steady kind that comes from knowing You are near. Renew my strength as I wait for You. Amen.

Week 2: Peace

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.” (John 14:27)

The peace Jesus offers is not the peace of tidy outcomes or neatly-resolved questions; it is the peace of His presence, right in the middle of everything we don’t understand. During a season when gatherings, traditions, or unmet expectations can stir up grief or sorrow, His peace comes as a gentle grounding – He is with us always. Peace doesn’t mean our longings disappear. It means they are held. Invite Jesus to sit with you in your restlessness, and allow yourself to rest in His presence.

Weekly Reflections:
Where does your heart feel most restless this week?
Is there a fear or sorrow you’ve been carrying alone?

Weekly Prayer: Prince of Peace, calm the places in me that feel unsettled. Help me rest in Your love, even when my circumstances don’t change. Hold my heart in Your peace. Amen.

Week 3: Joy

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4)

Joy can feel like a difficult word for those navigating infertility, especially during Advent and Christmas. It’s easy to confuse joy with cheerfulness or forced happiness. But the joy which Scripture speaks of is much deeper; it’s rooted not in what has happened (or hasn’t happened) in our lives, but in who God is. Joy often grows quietly – it doesn’t erase our longing; it sits beside it. Sometimes it looks like a moment of laughter, a shared meal, a flicker of gratitude, or simply recognizing a place where God has given a small grace. Let those moments be a reminder of God’s nearness.

Weekly Reflection:
What small joys has God placed in your life recently?
Where have you experienced even a brief moment of lightness or comfort?

Weekly Prayer: God of Joy, help me notice the quiet gifts You place in my days. Let joy take root in me, even if it begins small. Teach my heart to rejoice in You. Amen.

Week 4: Love

“In contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23)

As Christmas draws near, the world often becomes busier and noisier. Yet, Advent’s final week invites us to return to the heart of the season: Love. Not Hallmark love, but the steady, tender love of a God Who sees you, Who delights in you, and Who stays with you in every longing. Spiritual darkness can sometimes whisper that God has overlooked us or is holding back His goodness in our infertility, but Advent tells us a different story – God enters the world in small, hidden, unexpected ways. His timing and His plans often surprise us, not because He withholds love but because He loves more deeply than we can imagine. Mary waited, too. Her “yes” was a surrender to Love; not a guarantee of clarity. She is a companion in the kind of waiting that trusts even when it cannot yet see.

Weekly Reflections:
How might God be personally inviting you to receive His love this week?
Where do you need to be reminded that you are His beloved?

Weekly Prayer: God of Love, draw close to me as Christmas approaches. Help me believe that You delight in me and are working in my life, even in ways I cannot yet see. Hold my heart in Your love. Amen.

As you move through this season, remember: your waiting is seen; it is not empty or unnoticed. God is present in every part of it. He is working in quiet, hidden ways; not despite your longing but through it.

Advent does not promise that every desire will be fulfilled in the way we imagine, but it does promise that God is with us through it all. He enters our lives gently, persistently, lovingly. He walks with us step by step.

May this Advent bring you the grace to rest in His nearness, to trust His heart for you, and to know in the deepest places of your waiting that you are not alone.

Shelby O’Brien lives in Maryland with her husband, Conner, who she met while studying at Ave Maria School of Law. Shelby is an attorney with a background in social work and leads a women’s group at her local church. In her free time, you can find her totally captivated by a good book. Shelby and her husband have two adorable cats (named Daisy and Monty) and have been navigating infertility since getting married in May 2022. Shelby loves writing for Springs in the Desert alongside her sister, Amy!