Digital Toolkit: Ministering to Couples Experiencing Infertility

Springs in the Desert is dedicated to accompanying couples and supporting them as they navigate seasons of infertility and pregnancy loss. We believe this is an urgent pastoral issue and that both clergy and the faithful can help.

Not everyone feels equipped to offer their support, which is why we created this Digital Toolkit especially for use in parishes and dioceses. The Toolkit includes bulletin announcements that can be easily copied and pasted; sample intentions for the Prayer of the Faithful to use throughout the liturgical year; suggestions for handling Mother’s and Father’s Day in pastorally sensitive ways; and so much more.

We will be adding content to the Digital Toolkit and would love to address your pastoral needs, so please contact us with your suggestions. It is our honor to accompany you as you walk with couples in seasons of infertility and loss.

Mass and the Sacraments

Intentions for the Prayer of the Faithful

  • For couples in a season of infertility, that our loving Father will take them by the hand and show them the particular path of fruitfulness to which they are called…
  • That couples struggling with infertility would receive the grace and support to make pro-life decisions as they consider fertility treatments…
  • For the strengthening of all marriages in our parish, that they may bear fruit, both spiritually and physically, in our community and in the world…
  • For couples bearing the cross of infertility, that all the Faithful might accompany them with compassion and affirm the goodness of their marriages…
  • That couples struggling with infertility who have never conceived, have lost children to miscarriage, and who are unable to grow their families as desired, would find compassion and support among God’s People…
  • That the faithful will recognize and appreciate the powerful witness to marriage and the giftedness of children that couples navigating the challenges of infertility offer to the Church and the world…
  • For couples who have lost children to miscarriage; that they would find support from loved ones and our parish family as they grieve…
  • For couples who desire to grow their families but carry the cross of secondary infertility; that they would find community and support within our parish family…

  • For couples who are bearing the cross of primary or secondary infertility, that they may know God’s loving presence and trust in His plan for fruitfulness in their marriages…
  • For couples who have lost a child through miscarriage, in infancy, or at any time in their lives, that they may rest in the Lord’s loving embrace and be comforted by His merciful plan for their loved ones…
  • For the men/women who are loving spiritual fathers/mothers to us: our godfathers/mothers, uncles/aunts, mentors, and all men/women who positively impact our lives…

  • For an end to the abuses committed against unborn life through abortion, In-Vitro Fertilization, and other technologies…

  • For all children in need, their parents and families, and all couples who are discerning foster care or adoption…
  • That couples who have faced an interrupted or failed adoption would be comforted in their grief and open to the fruitfulness for which God is preparing their marriage…
  • That our parish family would embrace and support couples who are discerning adoption and/or opening their homes to children in need through foster care…

Mother’s/Father’s Day

The “Mother’s Day blessing” is often an acute source of pain and anxiety for the women present who are struggling with infertility or loss. If you choose to include this blessing at the conclusion of the liturgy, consider asking all women to stand, acknowledging mothers first, and then all women who live out different aspects of motherhood each day. 

Another possibility is to impart the special blessing at the end of Mass when the entire congregation is already standing. This acknowledges the mothers present without drawing attention to those who remain seated. Either option can be an opportunity to honor the good of motherhood, acknowledge the struggle with infertility and loss, and affirm the spiritual motherhood to which all women are called.

Keep in mind that there may also be women in the pews who have lost children to miscarriage or in infancy. They may feel torn, wondering if they have a right to stand for the blessing since they don’t have little ones beside them in the pews. Or if they do stand (because they will always be mothers), they may fear that someone will assume they are pregnant, bringing all the grief of infertility and loss back to them. Acknowledging the motherhood of those who have lost children – as well as the gift of spiritual motherhood – and giving the blessing while all women (or the whole congregation) are standing will help avoid such awkwardness and pain.

For more on pastoral sensitivity surrounding Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, please see this resource and our Pastoral Guide.

When Administering the Sacrament of Reconciliation

Our confessors know that we may need help examining our consciences and battling negative thoughts and emotions while walking the path of infertility. (We also discuss this more in-depth in our Pastoral Guide.) Your spiritual guidance can help us to identify when we are truly grieving our pain and losses, and when we are falling into sin. From there, we can begin to cultivate charity and generosity and allow God’s mercy to begin healing the wounds of infertility and loss. Please feel free to direct parishioners in a season of infertility/loss toward our Examen resource, which can be used alongside a more comprehensive Examination of Conscience when preparing to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Print and Digital Media

Weekly Bulletin Announcements (recommended for the months of April or June, but can be used anytime)

Did you know that 1 in 5 women struggle with infertility (CDC)? Couples carrying the cross of infertility are in our families, among our friends, and in our pews. They need to know that they have many gifts to bring to our parish, that their marriages are life-giving in many beautiful ways, and that God has not abandoned them—and neither have we. If you know someone struggling with infertility or pregnancy loss, resist the temptation to offer solutions or make predictions about what will happen if they “just pray a little harder.” Instead, show these couples your support by listening to them, praying for them, reminding them that God is with them, and that they are not alone. For more resources and support, visit www.springsinthedesert.org.

Did you know that “10 to 20 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage” (Mayo Clinic)? Couples mourning the loss of a child before or at birth are in our families, among our friends, and in our pews. They need to know that the life of their child (or children) matters, and that they have the support of their parish community during this time of mourning. Show these couples your support by listening to them, praying for them, bringing them a meal, reminding them that God is with them, and that they are not alone. For more resources and support, visit www.springsinthedesert.org.

We all know couples who desire to have children but struggle with infertility. But have you ever heard of “secondary infertility”?  It’s a term that may not be familiar, but it’s an experience of infertility that can be uniquely isolating. Couples struggling with secondary infertility have one or more children, but also have difficulty expanding their families. We can support these couples by not making assumptions about their family size, refraining from asking intrusive questions, and affirming their marriages and the gift of their parenthood. For more resources and support, visit www.springsinthedesert.org.

Did you know that fruitfulness is the task of every Christian? It is a creative cooperation with God in acts of service, our prayers for those in need, and being in communion with others. The call to be life-giving can seem challenging for couples who are experiencing infertility, but through their openness to the gift of life, husband and wife entrust their marriage and any fruit it bears to God. Importantly, a marriage’s capacity for fruitfulness is not limited to bearing and raising children! Couples walking this path can still be life-giving in a season of waiting, and in their faithful carrying of this cross, they are witnesses in their community to the goodness of marriage. For more resources and support, visit www.springsinthedesert.org.

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day Bulletin Announcements (recommended to run twice, the week of Mother’s/Father’s Day and the week prior)

For Catholics struggling with infertility and miscarriage, Mother’s Day can be hard. Acknowledging the grief and emotions of women who carry these crosses doesn’t mean honoring moms any less; instead, it means being open to embracing the unique gifts all women possess: sensitivity to the needs of others, the desire to nurture and serve others, and hearts filled with love. This Mother’s Day, let’s honor those women who are moms through biology, fostering or adoption, the moms whose children rest with the Lord, and those women who are longing for children yet have a mother’s heart that brings care and peace to those they encounter. For infertility resources and accompaniment, visit www.springsinthedesert.org.

For Catholics struggling with infertility and miscarriage, Father’s Day can be hard, especially because so much of the focus on these crosses often centers on women. Husbands also feel the grief of losing a child, and they experience many of the same complex emotions around infertility as their wives. Men and women may process the meaning of these crosses differently, but they carry them together. This Father’s Day, let’s honor all the men in our lives who provide strong role models for young and old alike through their strength, faith, and instinct to protect. For infertility resources and accompaniment, visit www.springsinthedesert.org.

Social Media Assets

Click here to access our free-to-use graphics on Canva. To download: click the “Share” button on the menu bar, log in or create a free account if necessary, click “download,” select your desired file type, and then use the dropdown menu to choose which graphics you would like to save. When using on social media, please tag us:

To assist you in providing support to parishioners, loved ones and friends, you can find sample text to use on websites, social media, and more on our Infertility Awareness Page (see Step 3: Start Spreading the Word). Dioceses and parishes are welcome to use this sample text on their websites without attribution on the condition that a link to www.springsinthedesert.org is provided on the page.

Create an Infertility Webpage

One of the easiest ways that you can serve couples experiencing infertility is to offer resources on your website. We have provided exactly what you need to do just that in our handy webpage guide, which is based on years of experience accompanying those on the path of infertility. Click here to access the PDF guide.

Walking with Couples

Life in Relationship

No one likes pain and suffering, but oftentimes it’s even harder to watch people we love suffer. We want to take it away and fix the problem, or offer them opinions and “solutions” to make things better. This is especially true for those who carry the heavy burden of infertility. Something that is much more difficult to do, but can be so meaningful, is to just be present to them. Don’t worry about what to say, or finding the “perfect words” to make the one in pain feel better. Sometimes fewer words, or simply a smile and a hug, are all that is needed. Here are some suggestions for those instances when you may want to say something to someone who shares their struggle with infertility.