“Life is short. Stop charting. Go on the adventure. Eat the cupcake. Trust God.”

I’ll be the first to admit I’m a Creighton snob. I use the Creighton Model personally, I teach the Creighton Model, and I recommend that my patients struggling with infertility chart with the Creighton Model. While I appreciate other models of Natural Family Planning (NFP) such as Marquette and Symptothermal, I prefer what I  know best. 

If you’ve undergone any sort of infertility evaluation with a provider who practices Restorative Reproductive Medicine (RRM), your provider has likely recommended that you chart your menstrual cycle, whether with the Creighton Model or another method of NFP. Charting is such an  important part in the evaluation and treatment process; it  allows you to know when you are fertile so you can focus your intercourse, know the length of your follicular and luteal phases, assess for abnormal bleeding patterns, pain, PMS, appropriately time labs, ultrasounds, and medications, and know the quality of your cervical mucus. 

In marriage prep or your NFP classes you (hopefully) heard about how using NFP improves communication, mutual respect between partners, shared family planning responsibility, and decreases divorce rates. It shows in brightly colored stamps (in the Creighton model) the changes that a woman goes through during the cycle that are part of who she is as a person. 

Since charting is integral to infertility evaluation and treatment and is what I call a “built-in marriage builder,” it may surprise you to hear that there are times I encourage couples to temporarily stop charting (or treatment all together). Yes, you just read that right. As a NaPro nurse practitioner, I sometimes tell patients to stop charting. (But please consult your own medical provider regarding your specific situation). Let me explain why I occasionally recommend it to my patients.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you about the exhaustion and burnout that can come with infertility diagnosis and treatment. Every month you go through cycles of different emotions –  from pressure to perform around the fertile time, to anticipation to take a pregnancy test, to heartbreak at the onset of the period, to picking yourself up and starting another cycle all over again. You take endless amounts of medications and supplements lined up in a pill box, eliminate food from your diet that tastes good but may be causing inflammation, and watch while all of your friends, family members, and Facebook friends announce their pregnancies, births, and children’s milestones.

Infertility and treatment  can start to feel like a full time job to manage. It can affect your relationships and your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. If you have noticed treatment has been affecting one of these aspects of your health in a negative way I encourage you to take a step back. If you have noticed treatment has been life-taking instead of lifegiving I encourage you to take a step back. If your NFP chart is becoming a source of feeling less-than I encourage you to take a step back. While knowing the details of our cycles is very helpful, sometimes all of that detail makes us feel inadequate. We know what our mucus quality should be, the length of our luteal phases, and how much brown bleeding is too much. And if our cycles don’t look like those in the Creighton introductory session we can feel like less of a woman, like our body has failed us. We may feel that we are not in control (which may be part of what God is trying to teach us). And believe me when I say as a Creighton instructor of nearly five  years – almost no one’s chart looks like the charts in the intro session (hello yellow stamps). 

Taking a step back is just that. It is not giving up hope. It is not losing  trust in God. Quite the contrary, it is trusting that God wants to use a time of break – however long or short – as a way to bring you closer to His tender heart. To heal you. To make you whole. To enjoy the life and all of Creation that He has given you. Whether it is going on a retreat, going on vacation, or visiting friends and family members you haven’t seen in awhile – getting away from the day to day can be so lifegiving. I find that my relationship with the Lord is rekindled and that He speaks to me more clearly (or that I listen better) when I physically take time away from the day to day work He has called me to. We are not machines. We are living, breathing persons who need rejuvenation, restoration, and rest.

I have a fun little orange plaque that sits on my desk that says, “Life is short. Take the leap. Go on the adventure. Eat the cupcake. Buy the cute dress.” In this season of waiting and uncertainty I encourage you to do the same and I’ll put my own little twist on it. 

“Life is short. Stop charting. Go on the adventure. Eat the cupcake. Trust God.” (Not that you shouldn’t buy the cute dress because I encourage that too!)

Please know that I am praying for you and rooting for you on this crazy journey to Heaven.

Caroline Gindhart is a nurse practitioner at Divine Mercy Women’s Health in Camp Hill/Carlisle, Pennsylvania. She received her nursing degrees from Penn State University. In her professional work, she diagnoses the root causes of infertility and treats in a way that cooperates with the woman’s cycle using her training in the Creighton Model and NaPro Technology.