Advent is a season of preparation, reflection, and anticipation as we await the celebration of Christ’s coming. For many, it’s a time filled with joy and hope, but for couples struggling with infertility, it can also be a season marked by deep yearning and emotional pain. If we lean into prayer and the spirit of the season, we can see that the themes of Advent — hope, peace, joy, and love — offer a profound source of spiritual solace, helping us navigate this challenging journey with faith and trust in God’s plan.

Each theme serves as a gentle reminder of God’s faithfulness, His nearness, and His ability to bring light into even the darkest moments of our lives. Let’s explore how each Advent theme can provide a meaningful opportunity to lean into these sacred themes and find comfort in their promises.

Hope

“For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

The theme of the first week of Advent is hope, a powerful theme that reminds us of God’s faithfulness. Just as the people of Israel waited with hope for the Messiah, those enduring infertility can lean on the assurance that God also sees their struggles and walks with them.

Infertility often feels like a time of hopeless waiting — a waiting filled with uncertainty, longing, and heartbreak. Yet, Advent encourages us to wait with hope, trusting that God’s timing and plans are perfect, even when they feel difficult or impossible to understand.

In the face of infertility, hope isn’t about clinging to expected outcomes but about trusting in God’s Will and the possibility of His grace breaking through in unexpected ways. Hope sustains us in moments of waiting and uncertainty.

Peace

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.” (John 14:27)

The theme of the second week of Advent is peace; not a peace that denies the pain of infertility but one that acknowledges God’s presence within it. This peace comes from surrendering our desires and anxieties to God, and trusting that He is present and working for our ultimate good.

Infertility can bring inner turmoil, feelings of inadequacy, and a sense of loss. But, the peace of Advent reminds us that Christ is with us in every trial. Just as John the Baptist prepared the way for the Lord, we can prepare our hearts to receive Christ’s peace and let His peace replace fear and doubt with trust. When we surrender our pain to God, we open ourselves to His transformative peace. This doesn’t mean that our pain disappears, but it becomes bearable when held in the light of His love.

Joy

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4)

The theme of the third week of Advent is joy; not a joy rooted in circumstances but rather in the assurance of God’s unchanging presence and love. Advent is a time of rejoicing as we anticipate and appreciate the nearness of Christ.

In the midst of infertility, joy may feel elusive. How can we rejoice when our hearts ache? Advent reminds us that joy is not about ignoring our pain but rather about recognizing God’s blessings and faithfulness, even in small moments. Joy comes from knowing that we are deeply loved by God – in all circumstances. 

Love

“For now there are faith, hope, and love. But of these three, the greatest is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13)

The theme of the fourth week of Advent is love — the love of God made visible in the Incarnation of Jesus. This love reminds us of our inherent dignity and worth, regardless of how many children we might (or might not) have.

In experiencing infertility, this theme is an essential reminder that God’s love is not contingent on any earthly measure of “success” or “fulfillment”. His love is unconditional and all-encompassing, inviting us to embrace the unique ways He calls us to share His love with the world. This love can take many forms to glorify God.

Emmanuel: God With Us

Above all, Advent is a reminder that we are not alone. The name Emmanuel means “God with us,” and it encapsulates the heart of Advent’s message: God is present with us in our joys and sorrows, our hopes and struggles.

For those of us facing this season while navigating infertility, this truth of God’s nearness can bring profound comfort. As you journey through Advent, may the themes of hope, peace, joy, and love draw you closer to Christ, offering you strength and solace. May this Advent season fill your heart with the assurance that, no matter what, God is with you — and His love for you is limitless.

Shelby O’Brien lives in Michigan with her husband, Conner, whom she met while studying at Ave Maria School of Law. Shelby is a legal research consultant with a background in social work and leads Confirmation preparation at her local church. Shelby and her husband have one adorable cat named Daisy but have been navigating infertility since getting married in May 2022. Shelby is excited to join her sister, Amy, as a Springs in the Desert writer!