It was the fall of 2014 when I was about to give up on Catholic Match. Nobody dreams of finding their future spouse through online dating. I was a recent graduate from Loras College, living the single Catholic life, filled with God’s love and goodness, and the only thing I needed to make my life complete was, well, the one. I didn’t graduate with my “M.R.S.,” and I was eager to meet the man God had specially planned for me to marry. After many first and last dates, I was discouraged and was about to cancel my account. And then, a new profile appeared. We connected and the rest is history! I fell in love with Aaron’s sense of humor, genuine hugs, work ethic, deep faith, confidence, and love for God. I almost immediately knew that Aaron was the man God created for me.

On our wedding day, I entrusted my husband and future children to the Blessed Mother. I expressed my gratitude for Aaron and told her how excited I was to see him become a father someday. I asked her to guide me as a wife and mother. I asked her to help me love them the way that she loved Joseph and Jesus. I asked her to help me trust God the Father the way she did on the Annunciation.

Fast forward to marriage and trying to conceive. We weren’t too concerned after not conceiving our first year of marriage because our idea  was to focus on our marriage for the first year and then welcome children. It was a few years into our marriage before we decided  to get some medical assistance in this area. 

Over the many months of preparing for the sacrament of marriage, the cross of infertility never crossed our minds. We went the conventional route and tried lots of medications, supplements, and a few procedures. It became increasingly difficult to trust God’s plan after enduring so much grief and medical trauma. We watched countless family members and friends have multiple babies while we hadn’t even been blessed with one. It was easy to compare and feel like God had forgotten about us. Then we pursued NFP and learned all about the Creighton Model. We made long trips to Omaha to the Pope Paul VI Institute. Two more surgeries, lots of medications, blood draws, etc. and we left feeling heartbroken. 

As we prayerfully approached the end of 2023, Aaron and I decided that after seven years, we would surrender and pursue adoption. From the start, Aaron and I recognized that we took vows to be open to life. Children are not owed to us. Rather, they are miraculous gifts from God. God gave us the desire to have children, so we knew our path to becoming parents wasn’t over. We were supported by loved ones and knew people were praying for us and our future children, people we hadn’t even met! 

We began our adoption journey in 2024 after one last “second opinion” from a specialist who said the only way we’d have biological kids would be through IVF. From the beginning, we were always open to adopting. But whether you’re searching for a spouse or trying to grow your family through the gift of a child, most people don’t dream of it happening through a match via a third party. Don’t get us wrong, adoption is a gift, but it comes with great difficulties, too. We continued to pray for God’s Will, and we simply put all of our trust in Him. We prayed that He would place the child He had planned for us in our path.

We found a Christian adoption agency that led us through the process of becoming home study approved. Talk about invasive! Much to our surprise, however, we were quickly home study approved within two months. Eleven  days later, we matched. Matching doesn’t guarantee anything, but we were shocked. Aaron didn’t want us to get our hopes up, but I already knew that these were our children who God specially planned for us. 

Years back, my aunt gave me the spiritual advice of being specific with prayer intentions. For years, I was on medications that increase the chance of conceiving multiples. Aaron and I dreamed of life with multiple kids and to make light of the cross of infertility, we would playfully talk about our future with “the twins.” My prayers started to get specific (and a little whiny) and I would say, “Lord, just give us the twin boys!” Eleven  days after becoming home study approved, we matched with twin boys. It was similar to my experience with Catholic Match and meeting Aaron. The adoption agency was the vehicle that allowed us to learn about the boys. All along, during the seven years of trying to conceive, our boys were also waiting for their forever family. After meeting the twins over numerous visits and them eventually being placed in our home, I knew these were the children God intended for me to mother. 

There have been far too many signs from God that these are our boys, my sons. The path to becoming parents has been filled with a lot of dips, twists, and bumps. However, when I get to drop my beautiful boys off at school in the morning, tuck them into bed at night, say our prayers, and hear them say, “I love you, Mommy,” I hear God saying, “Now do you see how much I love you?” I’ve never known a love like this before. I did not conceive or carry the boys in my womb, but from the moment I learned about them, they were conceived and nurtured into my heart. In this month of November, I am thankful for the ability to mother the children God specially planned for me.

Erin Lorch writes from rural Iowa. She is a Chicago native gone country! She is a Director of Faith Formation, proud wife of Aaron, and new mother, thanks to the gift of adoption!