I wanted to be that mom.

I remember that thought going through my head one late summer morning as I walked by a mom busily navigating her five littles into the playroom. She, like the rest of us caregivers and parents that day, was dropping off her little princes and princesses for a summer day camp. The theme for that week of camp was fairy tales. I had just finished dropping off my then-four-year-old “Princess Butterfly Ladybug Charlotte” who had skipped and twirled her way into the community center.

Yes, I wanted to be that mom.

The owner of the community center, herself a mother of eight, and the same age as me, appeared to be living the life I had dreamt of as a small girl – that of mothering many kiddos.

I wanted to be that mom.

I watched as another mom juggled a baby on her hip, wrangled a toddler into his car seat, looked over her shoulder and waved goodbye to her five-year-old who was standing at the window of the building, then rubbed her pregnant belly as she walked to the driver’s side of her van.

I wanted to be that mom.

The thought kept running through my mind on auto-loop as I watched another mom, to my left in the parking lot, tenderly kiss her newborn on the forehead as she secured his seatbelt. She got smaller in my rearview mirror as I drove away….in peace.

Yes, I wanted to be that mom.

However, I’m not. Back then, I was a mom to one precious four-year-old who is the greatest gift I have ever received. I can still say that now, three short years later as I parent a newly-seven-year-old first grader! The feeling of peace I experienced that sunny and warm August morning has ebbed and flowed, but I can confidently say that over these last few years, I am growing more and more aware of how God is using me in other ways.

I’m a mom to a sweet and sassy girl who couldn’t wait to show her butterfly wings and princess dress to Miss Ariel, Mrs. Lily, and Mrs. Eliana when I dropped her off at fairy tale summer camp that morning. I’m a mom to a girl who sings, “If you’re happy and you know it, go to the activity center!” in the car and makes up other equally fun and whimsical song lyrics as we drive places. I’m mom to a girl who dunked graham crackers into green applesauce today, saying she was “eating the beach” because the graham cracker crumbs “look and feel like sand, Mama!” This chance to parent a precocious and curious and inquisitive and genuinely happy and all-the-other-big-feelings girl – who loves to play in the dirt and have rainbow toes and adores her Daddy – is such a gift. I’m her mom. If I were to be that mom – the one I had painted in my head as my ideal vision and hoped-for reality as a little girl – it might not have turned out this way. The truth of the matter, though, is I’m Charlotte’s mom and I never want to take that for granted.

In these seven years of parenting one child (not by choice but still so very much a blessing), I have also been able to reflect on the fact that because I’m that mom, I’m able to spiritually mother so many through my vocation of teaching. I am hyper aware of this when prepping for the start of each upcoming new school year that tends to hold many unknowns. On the morning of dropping Charlotte off, as a four-year-old, to the fairy tale summer day camp, I was the teacher of students in five different classes, making me the spiritual mother of 87 students for that fall semester. I have been a teacher for the last 20+ years, first teaching school-aged students in prekindergarten through twelfth grade settings and in home visits and now, teaching college students and pre-service teachers in their teacher preparation programs as they get ready to work in their own future classrooms. These are students who have entrusted their learning to me and for whom I have worked hard to provide meaningful and relevant teachable moments as they prepare to be teachers themselves!

Through support within my community, such as the summer day camp and other mamas who have allowed Charlotte to play with their kiddos, I am fortunate to be able to spend time meeting the needs of my “other” children, while my daughter is happily engaged with the activities of her fairy tale-themed summer day program or on playdates. No one can do it alone, and I am thankful for the resources available to meet the needs of both the biological and spiritual children God has entrusted to my care. We are all stewards of God’s creation and are not meant to bury our talents; rather, we are meant to care for and multiply them. I am so thankful for the abundant opportunities to love for, care for, and to tend to the needs of many as I spiritually (and physically) mother through my vocation as wife and teacher.

I’m thankful for the opportunity to mother in so many ways – ways I had not previously considered when I was focused on my (tunnel) vision of my family and long-held dreams versus the broader picture God has painted for me.

I wanted to be that mom.

However, I am that mom – just in a unique way that uses my gifts and skillset. Thank you, Lord.

Megan Reister, wife to Adam and mother of one young daughter named Charlotte, loves peanut butter and chocolate combinations, puppies, and her home state of Pennsylvania. Now an Ohio resident, she is a teacher who enjoys working at a Catholic university and helping preservice teachers become advocates for the children they will serve in their vocations. Spiritual motherhood has always had a place in Meg’s heart, and even more so as she and her husband face secondary infertility. You can read more from Meg on her personal blog.