How We Got Started

Just before the new school year started, I received an email from another woman in my community. In the midst of teacher back-to-school prep, I opened  the providential email. Now as we wrap up the school year, it seems a fitting time to reflect back on the beginning of our small group journey. So much learning and growth have occurred over this past year through the experience of piloting a small group, and together with my new-found friend, forming  an in-person community with other women walking this path of infertility. 

The sender of that providential email is Bernadette. I should have met her sometime in the last nine years I’ve lived in this town – especially considering the mutual contacts we have in common – but I hadn’t. It was only through Springs in the Desert that we finally connected and bonded. Even though we didn’t know one another prior to the small group experience, we quickly developed a friendship through co-facilitating  the small group. Our new friendship provided an opportunity for us to be ministered to even as we sought to minister to the others who joined us.

Partnering to Co-Facilitate

We began our partnership in a coffee shop sharing our stories. From there, we mulled over details, such as where to host the small group, how to advertise and recruit, as well as, other logistics such as how often and how long to meet. We settled on meeting at a local church twice a month on Saturdays (eight total) for 90 minute meetings. We advertised in church bulletins, through social media, and personal invitation. To prepare, we took part in a small group facilitator training hosted by Springs in the Desert. In addition, we invited a religious sister to be our spiritual advisor and met with her prior to starting our small group sessions. At each meeting, we collected prayer intentions from group members and shared them with our spiritual advisor who also prayed over our intentions.

Getting Started

Looking back, my biggest worry was that no one would attend. Walking this road of infertility can feel so isolating and lonely at times. I so desired  to have others to walk alongside and share with, but I was unsure if anyone would commit to setting aside eight Saturdays to spend time in small group. However, as Bernadette and I joked with one another, we knew we were both going to be there as so at the very least we would be a small group of two. As it turns out, six women attended regularly, including Bernadette and me. 

Meeting every other week allowed us the opportunity to slowly get to know one another as we shared and built our community. The study material provided us with rich information to review, and we were never left with a dull moment. The study more than adequately provided opportunities for discussion and sharing. Having a place to come together, to share, to pray, and to develop connections with one another was so rewarding and fruitful! Some of the fruits received include  lifting up one another in prayer, feeling less isolated, the opportunity to be vulnerable and “real” with one another, and encouraging  one another to keep putting one foot in front of the other. It also provided space to grow in empathy as we learned more about each other’s unseen sufferings.

Growing through Small Group

Within our small group community we were able to face hard topics, such as wrestling with our expectations versus God’s will for our lives. Together, we were able to work through uncomfortable topics and times of uncertainty. For example, some members shared about their struggles with extended family during the holidays. We also persevered through uncharted waters when a member of our group unexpectedly got pregnant and carefully discerned how to best share the news with gentleness and sensitivity. 

Bearing Fruit

I’m so grateful for the shared leadership and camaraderie that I experienced as a co-facilitator. Having another to bounce ideas off of was a tremendous support and during the in-person sessions we were able to help keep the group on track by pondering the reflection questions together and managing the time. In closing, I think the most important and valuable fruit of this small group experience are the relationships formed. While we have concluded our small group study, we have continued to stay in touch in a variety of ways. For example, we created  a group text thread, have gone on a creative social outing together, and are planning to go out to dinner later in the summer. We also plan to do a book study in the next year and have begun to think about working together to put on a retreat next winter! This is what is possible when you are in community. What once appeared to be a lonely and isolating lived experience actually provides opportunities for encounter and transformation… if you just take the first small step. Springs in the Desert has done a terrific job in creating the resources and providing support. Will you take the next step toward creating and fostering a community using those resources?

Megan Reister, wife to Adam and mother of one young daughter named Charlotte, loves peanut butter and chocolate combinations, puppies, and her home state of Pennsylvania. Now an Ohio resident, she is a teacher who enjoys working at a Catholic university and helping preservice teachers become advocates for the children they will serve in their vocations. Spiritual motherhood has always had a place in Meg’s heart, and even more so as she and her husband face secondary infertility. You can read more from Meg on her personal blog.