National Marriage Week is an annual celebration of a sacrament that makes the man and woman who answer this unique call to love and service into a family. This year’s commemoration runs from February 7-14, and the theme is, Man and Woman He Created Them: Together with Purpose. For those of us on the path of infertility and loss, and with 2026 still a very new year, this is a great opportunity to remind ourselves of our identity as beloved sons and daughters of God, to renew an appreciation for the gift of marriage and our spouses, and to discover anew the unique and wonderful purpose God has for us, even as we walk this often-difficult path. God has a uniquely wonderful purpose for you and your marriage, and it all begins with standing in the truth that you were created by Love and for love.

Man and Woman – created by and for love
Pretty much everyone learned the story of Creation as kids, but have you really thought about it since then, or taken it for more than “just a story?” Take a moment to ponder the fact that God created everything – sun, moon, animals, oceans, even those creepy crawly things we randomly find on a wall or in the bathtub. God made everything that exists on Earth and beyond our world  intentionally and with purpose. But the most amazing thing of all, and what we may take for granted, is that God, in a gratuitous act of love, created human persons, male and female, and intended them to be the crown of His vast and mysterious Creation. The differentiation of the sexes was not a mistake or arbitrary decision, but a willful choice by the Creator, so that men and women could live in communion, learn from and complement each other, and grow together in friendship with Him.

That all changed when the first Man and Woman made a fateful decision to stop trusting God and try doing things their own way, resulting in a post-Original Sin world where nothing is easy. Suffering and sin, disappointment, and real evil are part of our experience, affecting even the fabric of the intimate and complementary relationship between men and women. Add infertility and loss into the mix and what began as God’s design for peaceful and understanding communion between men and women (husbands and wives) is now distorted and complicated by sin. The gentle patience and harmony of thought and spirit found in the Garden now too often gives way to conflict, misunderstanding, and miscommunication in our marriages. But all is not lost, because the good God who created everything with intentionality and great love did not give up on His creatures or allow His plan to be thwarted. Jesus’ Incarnation, death, and Resurrection not only conquered sin and death, but redeems and renews the communion of men and women, husbands and wives. The effects of sin still make interpersonal relationships sometimes difficult, but God’s grace in the Sacrament of Marriage makes it possible for that communion to endure and fulfill a greater purpose for the couple and their relationship, for the good of those they encounter in daily life, and for the life of the Church.

In a season of infertility and/or loss, the wounds of sin often make male/female differences into obstacles, but Christ’s redemption can turn them into opportunities for sanctification and a deeper, more enduring intimacy. Acknowledging that men and women process grief and may approach treatment differently, and aren’t always affected emotionally, spiritually, and physically in the same ways, can (with God’s grace) be transformed from stumbling blocks into pathways to virtue, opportunities for greater generosity toward each other, and surprising avenues for fruitfulness in cooperation with God.

Together with purpose
Although original sin can cloud the beauty of the complementarity of man and woman, we know that God created it to be a relationship of love and mutual support. While we may have had ideas and hopes for our marriage that have not come to fruition, we can be confident that God has a purpose for each of us in marriage, and that He has drawn you and your spouse together for a purpose. 

Together with purpose? If you are like me, you may have had moments where you’ve felt like your marriage was completely devoid of purpose, Lord, why did You draw us together if You didn’t want to draw out any fruit from our love? 

However, the Father is infinitely creative – He knows all the forms goodness and love can take, not just the common ones we think of and expect. Infertility is an invitation to a creative love – a love and purpose for your marriage that is not always clear-cut and expected. It is an invitation to surrender the purpose you may have hoped for for the one God is actually calling you to. 

This shared purpose is something that each couple must uniquely discern and navigate. When we don’t know where to start, however, I find it helpful to reflect on the Wedding at Cana (cf. John 2) The wine runs short…and the servants are asked to fill the jars with water? How is that going to help anything? We need wine, not water! Isn’t this fetching water just tedious busywork? Sometimes our daily lives with infertility can feel meaningless and dreary. But we, like those at the wedding, are called to abandonment, trust, obedience and perseverance. Jesus can and will make our daily sacrifices and united love into something infinitely more beautiful and fruitful than we can imagine. 

The Gift of Marriage
Each time we attend a Catholic wedding, we hear these words spoken over the bride and groom as part of the nuptial blessing in the Roman Rite:

“O God, by whom woman is joined to man, and the companionship they had in the beginning is endowed with the one blessing not forfeited by original sin nor washed away by the flood…”

Surrounded by so much beauty – and maybe distracted by the nerves and emotion of our own wedding day – we may not have fully noticed the depth behind these words when they were first spoken over us. But now, as married couples, we are invited to hear them again, with new ears and a deeper awareness of all that they imply.

Woman was joined to man by God.
They were created for companionship from the very beginning.
And their union was endowed with a blessing so fundamental, so enduring, that it survived both the Fall and the Flood.

Marriage always has been, and will always be, a blessing for the whole world, come hell or high water. What began with the one-flesh union of Adam and Eve will find its fulfillment in the eternal unity of Christ the Bridegroom and His Bride, the Church, at the wedding supper of the Lamb.

This truth should give us great hope as we navigate the “messy middle” of life and marriage. The blessing of marriage was never forfeited, but neither was it left untouched by the woundedness of a fallen world. Marriage still bears the dignity of reflecting the life of the Holy Trinity – a free, total, faithful, fruitful communion of persons in love – even as we experience, again and again, how far short we fall of that ideal.

When we look honestly at our own marriages, and at those around us, we can see both realities at once. We glimpse the goodness God intended, and we also encounter the effects of sin: selfishness, conflict, unfaithfulness, suffering, and even apparent barrenness at times. Yet the good news is this: the unity of marriage is not held together by our imperfect efforts to “get it right,” but by God’s perfect and unfailing love. In Him, our marriages can always grow, always be healed, and always become more fully what they were meant to be.

For those of us who carry the cross of infertility, it can sometimes feel as though our marriages are failing, or at least falling short, of imaging the fruitfulness of God’s love in the world. But this, too, is a lie. Even when our bodies bear the marks of a broken creation, our marriages remain fruitful. The blessing of marital fruitfulness was not forfeited in the Fall, nor washed away by the Flood. God continues to draw abundant fruit from our unions in every season, regardless of our circumstances. 

Dear Lord, please make my marriage strong, beautiful, and pleasing to You. Please let it bear the fruit You most desire for it. Thank You for the purpose You have entrusted to my marriage; please let me and my spouse work towards that purpose, even if it is still hidden from us. We will keep filling the jars, Lord. Please draw out the wine in Your time. Amen.

Written by the Springs in the Desert Team

For further reflection: