Walking the High Wire

A Reflection on Infertility in Two Parts Part 1: Without a Net Dealing with infertility is a bit like being up on a high wire. When you are first trying to conceive and learning (or refreshing your memory) about fertility and the impact diet, exercise, and good self-care has on it, there’s a certain feeling... Continue Reading →

The Vocation Idol

When I was single, I longed for the moment when God would present me with my vocation. I anticipated it at every turn and contemplated it at night falling asleep. When? Who? How? It was as though I began to desire the vocation itself more than God Himself. If I’m honest, I began to think once I... Continue Reading →

Infertility: A Holy Week Reflection

I’ve been particularly drawn to the Passion of our Lord Jesus since infertility has colored my life.  I especially love praying and reflecting on the mystery of Jesus’ Crowning with Thorns, which has providentially received a lot of media attention during this Holy Week due to the devastating fire at the Cathedral of Notre Dame. ... Continue Reading →

Infertility is Martyrdom

Don’t let the title of this post fool you. It’s really not what you think…. As a woman who cannot conceive a child, I’ve put myself through a litany of questions that might be familiar to others in my place: Why me? Why us? How is this fair? Why doesn’t God love us/trust us/want to... Continue Reading →

The Unique Grief of Infertility

My husband and I went on a marriage retreat last week, deep in the mountain woods. We stayed at a big old home, normally meant for family reunions - eight bedrooms, large kitchen, dining room, living room, and basement. My husband and I got there early and spent an hour transforming the basement "rec room"... Continue Reading →

On Hope and Miracles

“To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.” – G.K. Chesterton When I tell friends in Catholic circles about our minute prospects for biological children, and the lack of any ethical option for having biological children, a response I... Continue Reading →

The Unexpected Gift of Brokenness

As I was dropping off my 4-month-old foster son with his birthmother for his bi-weekly visit, I was taken aback by her hesitant and humble request: “Would you stay with me for the visit? He’s so much happier with you here.” While I had been eagerly anticipating spending that time in what had become my... Continue Reading →

A God at Hand: Part II

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how the experience of infertility has shaped my understanding of who I am and who Christ is. In my last entry, I wrote at length about how tenderly and literally the Lord emphasized His abiding presence with me at a particularly trying stage in this always trying journey.... Continue Reading →

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