Infertility: A Holy Week Reflection

I’ve been particularly drawn to the Passion of our Lord Jesus since infertility has colored my life.  I especially love praying and reflecting on the mystery of Jesus’ Crowning with Thorns, which has providentially received a lot of media attention during this Holy Week due to the devastating fire at the Cathedral of Notre Dame. ... Continue Reading →

Infertility is Martyrdom

Don’t let the title of this post fool you. It’s really not what you think…. As a woman who cannot conceive a child, I’ve put myself through a litany of questions that might be familiar to others in my place: Why me? Why us? How is this fair? Why doesn’t God love us/trust us/want to... Continue Reading →

The Unique Grief of Infertility

My husband and I went on a marriage retreat last week, deep in the mountain woods. We stayed at a big old home, normally meant for family reunions - eight bedrooms, large kitchen, dining room, living room, and basement. My husband and I got there early and spent an hour transforming the basement "rec room"... Continue Reading →

On Hope and Miracles

“To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.” – G.K. Chesterton When I tell friends in Catholic circles about our minute prospects for biological children, and the lack of any ethical option for having biological children, a response I... Continue Reading →

A God at Hand: Part II

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how the experience of infertility has shaped my understanding of who I am and who Christ is. In my last entry, I wrote at length about how tenderly and literally the Lord emphasized His abiding presence with me at a particularly trying stage in this always trying journey.... Continue Reading →

The Mother in Me

One of the advantages I enjoy from teaching online is flexibility. As long as I have an internet connection I can grade papers and answer students’ questions at 7am from a cafe, or at 11pm from my couch in my PJs. Such convenience can be burdensome at times, especially when I receive a flurry of... Continue Reading →

On Feeling Invisible

Note: This is a journal-style reflection that I wrote during a difficult moment during my journey of infertility. While it was written a few years ago, I think (I hope) that it can still speak to the hearts of those carrying the cross of infertility, and in particular childlessness (no living children) – a cross... Continue Reading →

Finding Motherhood in Infertility

My soul went groping all the past years through Searching the barren deserts, for a dream, A mirage, some foreknowledge or a gleam Of that long-waited day that should bring you. Excerpt from To D.E.C.— A Daughter by Frances Chesterton (From How Far Is It To Bethlehem: The Plays and Poetry of Frances Chesterton) When... Continue Reading →

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑