Finding Fatherhood in Infertility

He wept. It was the sobbing-kind of weeping where you can’t control what is happening to you. My husband, Phil, is not the kind of person to cry over his own life situations. Sure, he gets a little teary-eyed when he sees something sad, but now four years into our marriage, I had never seen... Continue Reading →

Finding Purpose in Infertility

I was diagnosed with endometriosis back in 2013 after a laparotomy surgery.  I had been charting my signs of fertility with Natural Family Planning and was able to help diagnose it. The doctor found that my endo was Stage 3 (out of 4), and thankfully was able to remove it all. This helped me to... Continue Reading →

Dying to Self: A Man’s Perspective on Infertility

I’ve found that, as a man, it’s easy to reduce infertility to a problem that lies in the individual, and from there to treat it like a dragon that can be slain once and for all. I began to fall into this pit and was setting myself up for failure by trying to tackle these doctors’ visits and ensuing procedures in a similar way. It was a dumb mindset. Marriage is built on two people, and where there are two people working for sainthood, there’s no room for pride and arrogance.

The Vocation Idol

When I was single, I longed for the moment when God would present me with my vocation. I anticipated it at every turn and contemplated it at night falling asleep. When? Who? How? It was as though I began to desire the vocation itself more than God Himself. If I’m honest, I began to think once I... Continue Reading →

On Hope and Miracles

“To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.” – G.K. Chesterton When I tell friends in Catholic circles about our minute prospects for biological children, and the lack of any ethical option for having biological children, a response I... Continue Reading →

On Feeling Invisible

Note: This is a journal-style reflection that I wrote during a difficult moment during my journey of infertility. While it was written a few years ago, I think (I hope) that it can still speak to the hearts of those carrying the cross of infertility, and in particular childlessness (no living children) – a cross... Continue Reading →

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