In the midst of sorrow, I ask to see God’s light. My vision is blurred as to the good that can, or will, come of my crosses. I’ve heard so many beautiful stories of hope and understanding from those who’ve carried similar ones. While truly inspiring, others’ experiences often lead me to feel greater impatience, spiritual shame, and even abandonment. My mind floods with questions of urgency. What is the purpose of my suffering? Will the desires of my heart be met? Are my desires those of God? Will I ever feel joyful and fulfilled in this life? Being in this kind of mental state is not fun! Through good counsel and God’s grace, I am making efforts to slowly shift my thoughts in a more positive direction. With that being said, I would like to share a thank-you letter, or rather a prayer of gratitude, I wrote to God that exemplifies a key change of perspective. I hope it inspires those of you going through a season of waiting, who are also looking for answers and God’s hand at work.

Thank You, God, for blinding me from the future.
Lord, I thank You for concealing the finite amount of time that remains for me to walk this earth, as well as the way in which You’ll call me home.
I thank You, Heavenly Father, for the ability to entertain the false belief that family and friends will live forever.
Almighty Savior, I thank You for hiding any upcoming, inevitable illness or ailments from my sight.
I thank You, Yahweh, for protecting my spirits of the trials to come, be they financial hardship, marital issues, family drama, untrustworthy friends, tested faith, or whatever else.
Divine Ruler, I thank You for sheltering me from the trajectory of the state of the world, such as any accepted immorality, injustices, unlawful authorities, and so forth, so I may continue to find good in society.
I thank You, Holy Redeemer, for covering my eyes from any major accomplishments I am to achieve, so that I may remain humble of heart and truly celebrate in the moment.
Oh Most High, I thank You even for the darkness in this season of infertility. As a result, I vow to never take motherhood and family life for granted, to recognize the miracle and beauty of all human life, to learn the virtue of patience as I await answers from doctors pertaining to my reproductive health, and to grow closer to You in this process of discerning Your perfect plan and timeline for my marriage.
I thank You, Blessed Trinity, for the gift of inward sight. While I continue to navigate my own feelings of anger, jealousy, pity, grief, and frustration, I am able to see the hurt that lies in others. It’s only from a place of desperation that I can have compassion for my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
So, thank You, God, for recognizing my weaknesses and blinding me from what’s to come, both good and bad. Even Your only Son did not receive such a blessing.

This post was authored by Springs in the Desert writer Emily.