One of the most challenging things about infertility is the feeling of being forgotten — forgotten by the world, by our friends with children, even by the Church sometimes. We constantly hear about how big families are such a beautiful witness to life and God’s plan for marriage. It’s tempting to believe that we’ve been cast aside or that we don’t have a role to play in Christ’s Body.

I am here to tell you, though, that the world needs your unique witness. I believe that couples struggling with infertility and miscarriage have a unique call: to be apostles of hope. 

During this Easter season, we heard the story of Mary Magdalene, sometimes called the “Apostle to the Apostles.” In the aftermath of the Crucifixion, when the rest of the apostles were reeling with grief and fear, Mary Magdalene was one of the first people to see the Risen Lord. She witnessed to the joy and hope of His Resurrection. The Lord had entrusted her to tell them, “I have seen the Lord.” In the midst of suffering, she was a bold witness of Christ’s power over death and despair. 

We can do the same. We can be radical, counter-cultural witnesses to the hope of the Gospel. Our culture says that to be fulfilled, all of our personal desires must be met. We’re told to try to control every aspect of our lives, right down to our ability to have kids. The world tells us that unless we have the biological kids we want — by any means necessary — we will be miserable. The world tells us that if we don’t use artificial technologies like IVF to conceive, we’re foolish. 

But we can show otherwise. When we choose to hope in the Lord while carrying the cross of infertility, we are bringing the Gospel to others. We are witnessing to the truth that joy is possible, even in the midst of suffering. We are witnesses that it is possible to live a happy, fulfilled life as a married couple, even if children never come. We are witnesses that God is faithful and that His plan is worth trusting — even if it means we have to let go of grasping for total control over our lives.

Your actions, attitudes, and silent witness speak volumes — especially in a culture where both infertility and IVF are becoming more common. You are living differently, and while it might seem strange or foolish to some, you are planting a seed in others’ hearts. 

And there’s another way in which your witness is incredibly important. Those who are in the thick of infertility need to hear others speak about the experience. Despair, discouragement, and isolation can be intense during infertility, but hearing from others who are experiencing it and haven’t lost hope can make a life-changing difference. Couples struggling with infertility need to hear from those who’ve walked that road. They need to hear stories to know that they’re not alone. 

My husband and I are part of a small infertility support group. The other couples are further along in their infertility journey. After years of heartbreak, they are finally able to see how God was working in their pain and how He has brought good out of it. It’s been immensely comforting to hear their stories, to see how God has worked in their lives, and to hear their words of encouragement. While their stories don’t change my own circumstances, seeing how they held on to hope during their lowest moments has helped me keep going. I also have several friends who’ve gone through seasons of infertility, and their words have been a lifeline for me during some very difficult times. 

I firmly believe that if you are open to where the Lord leads and willing to share your story, you will touch more lives than you know. I encourage you to ask God how He might be calling you to witness to others during this phase of your life. That might look like writing for this blog, giving a talk at your parish, participating in a support group, or even just texting a friend. Whatever it is, know that your words and actions can be a light for others during their darkest moments. It is no exaggeration to say that your encouragement and your story might save someone’s life.

 

This post was written by an anonymous Springs in the Desert Contributor.