Recently I was present for an important day in my friend’s life: during a beautiful Mass, she made her first profession as a religious sister. The day was filled with many moments of grace, worth pondering. One thought from the homily has particularly stuck with me, however . The preacher dwelt on the contrast between the “profession” we were witnessing, on the one hand, and the common meaning of the word “profession,” on the other. We usually treat the word “profession” as a synonym for “job;” it calls up images of lawyers and doctors, serving useful roles in society. A religious sister’s profession, however, is not the acquisition of a job, but an embarkation on a particular way of life. Her role cannot be reduced to the simply “useful.”

What is true of a religious sister’s life is true, in a broader sense, of all Christian lives. It is important for us to be mindful of this. Couples carrying the cross of infertility can often suffer from a temptation to view their lives as wasted, to view themselves as having nothing to offer the Church, and consequently to feel left on the margins with no part to play. Priests are busy offering sacrifice and shepherding their flock; parents are busy raising up children to be the future of the Church. We may feel a guilty pressure pushing us to find ways to “get involved” and “be useful” to the Church. And to be clear, there is nothing wrong with “getting involved”! But it needs to be based on a proper understanding of what it means to be “part of the Church.” Your participation in the Church is not predicated on your usefulness to the Church. It is hard to think of someone more “useless” than a baby, but a newly baptized infant is fully a member of the Church. At the other end of life, an 95-year old with Alzheimer’s is equally a member of the Church, and equally “useless” to Her.

Very well, then. We should not focus too much on usefulness, and we are all equally part of the Church. But this does not satisfy our deeper question: what is our role in the Church? Everyone carrying the cross of infertility will have to discern that question for himself or herself. But the Church provides us a lens through which to begin that discernment:

“The faithful, who by Baptism are incorporated into Christ and integrated into the priestly, prophetic, and kingly office of Christ, have their own part to play in the mission of the whole Christian people in the Church and in the world.” (CCC 897)

In the little corner of the world that is your life, you are Christ. Your mission is Christ’s threefold mission: to be a priest, a prophet, and a king.

Participating in Christ’s priestly mission, we are called to offer sacrifice. In particular we offer our sufferings, for God has ordained that it is through the suffering of Christ that the world is redeemed. Each person’s suffering will be unique to them; for me, I think of the recurring death of hope that happens every month when “maybe this time” turns into “not this time.” Couples on the path of infertility by no means have a monopoly on suffering, but at least we do not have far to seek for opportunities to fulfill our priestly mission!

Participating in Christ’s prophetic mission, we are called to bear witness to God’s truth. I think particularly of our opportunity to bear witness to the truth about marriage. Couples suffering from infertility can’t simply coast in our marriages: we are forced to think about what it really means to love each other for each other’s sake, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. Our witness may simply be by example, but we must be ready to speak the truth in love when it is called for.

Participating in Christ’s kingly mission, we must restore His kingdom in whichever areas are under our authority. First and foremost, we have interior battles to fight with invading armies of envy, bitterness, or despair. We need to work, patiently, humbly, and confidently, relying on God, to grow interiorly in virtue. But we should not limit Christ’s rule to our interior, spiritual life; it needs to encompass every level of our life: private or public, physical, mental, or spiritual. On a simple level, I like to view sweeping the floor or washing the dishes as part of the cosmic struggle against the forces of chaos and disorder.

In Lumen Gentium, the Church tells us that “it pertains to [lay people] in a special way so to illuminate and order all temporal things with which they are closely associated that these may always be effected and grow according to Christ and may be to the glory of the Creator and Redeemer.” (Lumen Gentium 31, paragraph 2) I encourage you to look at the “temporal things with which you are closely associated” through the lens of your threefold mission. Where are you being called to be priest, prophet, and king?

Matthew Summers and his wife Katie have been married for over five years and live in the lovely valley of Front Royal, VA. He enjoys hiking, making spreadsheets, and drinking coffee with his wife.